Rumble and Frenzy's Excellent Adventures
by Maelstrom1
Summary: Ch 2!!! Rumble and Frenzy find out that Megatron's not the only leader with mental problems, and handle it the way any Decepticon would, also more volleyball insanity!
1. Spring Cleaning

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers..I'll be going now ~cries~  
  
I got this idea and just had to get it out of my head, so now enjoy: Rumble and Frenzy's Excellent Adventures  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
We join our errrrr.. Heros hanging out in the Decepticon HQ lounge. It has an air of respect and dignity only Decepticons can harbor.  
  
Kickback: HERE COMES MEGATRON!  
  
All the 'Cons cease throwing darts at pictures of Megatron, trading Megatron jokes, and playing with Megaton stress relieving memorabilia as Skywarp hits a concealed button that folds back all the Megatron incriminating games and merchandise revealing a...pet store. Brawl quickly hides the Megatron head shaped beach ball behind his back as the Stunticons and Combaticons turn away from their involving volley ball game. Wildrider mutters something about Vortex cheating before the illustrious Decepticon leader bursts into the room, grinning like a loon, quickly flanked by Soundwave.  
  
Megatron: I hope everyone what today is!  
  
The Decepticons glance around. Slowly, Long Haul comes forward.  
  
Long Haul: Ummm...The day we destroy the Autobots?  
  
Megatron: NO! it's time for..SPRING CLEANING!  
  
Cue anime background as Megatron whips a flower apron and vacuum cleaner out of nowhere.  
  
Decepticons: O_o  
  
Megatron: Now, all of you will take these cleaning supplies from Soundwave and clean this base up, now!  
  
All the Decepticons mutter about Megatron's insanity as they take brooms and rags from Soundwave and are given aprons by Laserbeak. As this happens, our daring duo use this time to slip into the ventilation system. They drop in and proceed to leave the base as Bombshell spills cleaning liquid on Shrapnel.  
  
Shrapnel: IT BURNS, BURNS!  
  
Bombshell: Whoops...^_^;  
  
Kickback: How'd you do that?  
  
Bombshell: What?  
  
Shrapnel: I think he means the thing with your face, face.  
  
Bombshell simply shrugs and starts to broom. Kickback and Shrapnel face fault. The Constructicons start to sing "singing in the rain"  
  
Bombshell: ^_^;  
  
Kickback: There, you did it again!  
  
Bombshell: WHAT!  
  
Shrapnel: You did that thing with your face again, again.  
  
Bombshell: I can't help it, it happens whenever something stupid happens.  
  
Kickback goes up and kicks Shrapnel in the leg.  
  
Bombshell: ^_^;  
  
Kickback falls to the ground laughing, Shrapnel joining him after getting over the pain in his leg.  
  
Bombshell: ^_^; STOP IT!  
  
The other Insecticons laugh harder and harder.  
  
Bombshell: ;_;  
  
That just makes them laugh harder, Bombshell gives up and leaves, visibly hurt.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Finally getting to our true heros, we see Rumble and Frenzy exchange a high- five after exiting the Decepticon base.  
  
Frenzy: Sure pays to be small eh?  
  
Rumble: Yeah..hey don't be getting all Canadian on me.  
  
Frenzy: What're ya talkin aboot?  
  
Rumble:......  
  
This prompts Rumble to go and kick Frenzy right in the errr...area. Frenzy doubles over and curls into the fetal position for about five minutes. After that Frenzy gets up. He sees Rumble still laughing at him.  
  
Frenzy: What was that for!  
  
Rumble: (Laughing) What are you talkin aboot! (More laughing)  
  
Frenzy runs to Rumble and kick him in the crotch. Rumble has the same reaction Frenzy did. Frenzy leans against a tree waiting for his internal clock to reach five minutes. On cue, Rumble gets up and goes right for Frenzy. Frenzy anticipates this and stops him.  
  
Frenzy: STOP! Look, let's call a truce before the apron clad idiot finds us.  
  
Rumble: Agreed. Wonder if the Autobots are having as much trouble as us?  
  
Frenzy: (Shrugs) We don't have anything else to do, can't be any worse than here.  
  
With that our duo proceeds to the Autobot base. Right after they leave Thundercracker runs out of the base.  
  
Thundercracker: (Gasping for air)Can't...breath...too...much...lemony...freshness!  
  
Then Megatron appears holding a purple bottle and a green bottle.  
  
Megatron: (Still grinning like a loon.) It also comes in Lime and Wild- Flower!  
  
Thundercracker: (Face contorted in terror) GAH! STAY AWAY YOU APRON CLAD FREAK!  
  
Thundercracker flies off as Megatron turns his attention back into the base. "Singing in the rain" can still be heard from the Constructicons.  
  
Megatron: (Face now displaying terror also) ASTROTRAIN, BY PRIMUS NO, DON'T USE THE METAL SQUEEGE, YOU'LL SCRATCH THE FINISH!  
  
A loud "Meep" is heard from inside as Megatron starts firing Fusion blasts in random directions. The Decepticons scramble as they run from the flower- clad fool  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Rumble and Frenzy pause as they hear a muffled explosion in the distance.  
  
Rumble: You hear something?  
  
Frenzy: Nah, hey wait! (Points) Autobots!  
  
Rumble and Frenzy hide as they see Perceptor and Brawn. Perceptor is skipping merrily as Brawn trudges along.  
  
Perceptor: (Sing-song voice) We're on a nature hike, we're on a nature hike!  
  
Brawn: Would you shut up! I haven't got to smash anything all day.  
  
Perceptor: (Holds out arm) Come my woodland friends!  
  
This goes on for five full minutes, nothing but silence, Brawn staring with a unexplainable expression on his face, and Perceptor, holding his arm out, waiting for anything to happen. Finally Brawl snaps and runs up to Perceptor. He then delivers a well placed upper-cut into the scientist's groin. Perceptor has the exact same reaction as Rumble and Frenzy as Brawn starts throwing a temper tantrum.  
  
Brawn: I WANNA SMASH SOMETHING! (Jumps up and down)  
  
Perceptor: *gurgle*  
  
Brawn looks quizzically at Perceptor, until a bunny hops into view.  
  
Brawn: SMASHY! (Leaps at the rabbit)  
  
Perceptor: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Dives into Brawn, knocking him aside, Perceptor then gets on all fours and cups the rabbit in his hands)  
  
Brawn: O_o  
  
Perceptor: (Stroking the rabbit, visibly pulling it's skin back) There, there, my adorable, cuddly, cute, friendly, fluffy, woodland creature, daddy Perceptor is here now, he won't let the mean bot hurt you, no he won't, no he won't (Voice getting more babyish as he goes)  
  
Rumble and Frenzy just stare in awe at the idiocy of both Autobots from the bushes.  
  
Rumble: (Left eye ticking) Urge to kick in crotch, rising.  
  
Frenzy: SSHHH! I think its about to get better. (Points at the recovering Brawn.)  
  
Brawn: I gotta smash something before I go nuts!!!!  
  
Perceptor: I'm gonna put you in a bbbiiiiiigggggg cage, with lotsa other fuzzy, cute, fluffy creatures.  
  
Brawn: (Clenching fist) ARRGHHHHH STOP THE CUTENESS! (Flings himself at Perceptor)  
  
Perceptor: GAH! (Grabs the bunny and rolls) DON'T HURT POOKIE!  
  
Brawn: O_o Pookie?  
  
Perceptor: Yesh, he's my baby, and you won't hurt him (Opens chest compartment, where we seen various other cute woodland creatures stuffed inside before stuffing "Pookie" in with them)  
  
Brawn:..................  
  
Perceptor: You ok? You face is getting really red.  
  
Brawn: GAH! (Tackles Perceptor, beating him senseless.)  
  
Perceptor: *gurgle*  
  
Frenzy and Rumble decide to take this opportunity to leave as we see a blue F-15 fighter jet streak across the sky.  
  
Thundercracker: BWWWAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Our dynamic duo arrives at the Ark finally. Frenzy pops open the vent as the pair of cassettes slip in. The two keep going until they get to the next hatch. It appears to be someone's quarters. They look at each other, before popping off the vent and going to town, rummaging through some unfortunate Autobot's stuff.  
  
Frenzy: GAAAHHH!  
  
Rumble: (Pocketing multiple galactic creds) What?  
  
Frenzy: This! (Tosses Rumble a magazine)  
  
Rumble looks into the magazine to see Ironhide posing in a leather thong.  
  
Rumble: (Quickly whipping out his small blaster and shooting the thing to shreds in mid-air) IT BURNS THE EYES!!!!!!  
  
Frenzy: (Continues to rummage, blaster drawn.) This is some freaky shiznat.  
  
Rumble: What now?  
  
Frenzy: You may not want to look. (Fires a few shots into the drawer.)  
  
Rumble, not heeding his brother's advice, looks anyway. Inside are various "toys" of a lewd nature, and a vat of oil.  
  
Rumble: (Now visibly disturbed) Who's room are we in anyway!?  
  
As if on cue, Bumblebee barges into the room.  
  
Bumblebee: Who's going through my stuff. WHAT! Decepticons!  
  
Rumble and Frenzy glance at each other before laughing.  
  
Frenzy: (Supporting himself by putting his hands on his legs, slapping one leg, laughing) Shoulda guessed this one!  
  
Bumblebee: Huh? (Sees drawer opened and rummaged through and magazine bits on floor. His eyes now tear up) WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY STUFF!  
  
Rumble: (Still laughing) you should be happy we did you this favor, before your buddies found it!  
  
Bumblebee, filled with beserker rage, started chasing Rumble around the room. Rumble, despite laughing, is able to easily dodge the somewhat larger bot. Frenzy merely stands in one place as Rumble runs past him. Frenzy transforms his arm into a piledriver as Bumblebee runs by. Then, Frenzy raises his arm and activates it, nailing Bumblebee right in the funny bags. Bumblebee's reaction is exactly the same to every other bot nailed in this area as of yet. Both cassettes stop and drop to the floor, laughing yet again.  
  
Rumble: (Giggling like a school girl) My gut hurts!  
  
Frenzy: (Snickering uncontrollably) We don't have guts!  
  
That just causes them to laugh harder. After four and a half minutes are up, Rumble and Frenzy pull themselves up and into the ventilation shaft. Brawn walks past in the hall with Perceptor over his shoulder. He can still hear Rumble and Frenzy's laughter.  
  
Brawn: Must have rats..RATCHET!  
  
Ratchet: (From down the hall) WHHATTTT!  
  
Brawn: Perceptor need to be repaired..he ran into..a tree, yeah, a tree.  
  
Ratchet: (Still down the hall, laughing now) Alright, bring him in.  
  
Brawn drags Perceptor down the hall as the pitter patter of feet can be heard in the vents. This could be an adventure yet.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
Thundercracker: BBBWWWAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Well seeing all the comedies springing up as of late and my want to do a G1 fic, I've decided to try my hand at a funny comic and see what happens. Consider this my project in between my other fic. Anyways, next time we'll see..  
  
Optimus Prime: LAWN GNOMES!  
  
Cut to next scene  
  
Motormaster: Vortex can't spike the ball, he can fly, cheaters!  
  
Onslaught: Bite me!  
  
Cut to next scene  
  
Rumble: Hold me!  
  
Frenzy: Dude..  
  
That's it for today, give me your thoughts, should the terror stop, or live on, one can never tell, R&R :P 


	2. Lawn Gnomes

Disclaimer: THEY'RE NOT MINE, OK, NOT MIIIINNNEEEE, BUT THIS FLUFFY BUNNY IS!!!!!! Fluffy Bunny: EEPP!  
  
Alright, its high time I got to work on this, just haven't had my funny bone hit lately, but I'm gonna take another crack at it, lol, enjoy  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Zoom to Decepticon base. Skywarp is patching up Astrotrain, who was badly beaten up by the illustrious Decepticon leader for the metal squeegee incident. Megatron then forced everyone to paint Astrotrain fluorescent pink afterwards. Soundwave walks up to the two before covering his eyes, due to the brightness of the pink.  
  
Soundwave: Have either of you seen Rumble or Frenzy?  
  
Skywarp: Nope, but Thundercracker disappeared too, Starscream went to find him, after trying to beat some sense into Megatron, but he ended up getting a bucket of bright yellow paint on him.  
  
Astrotrain: (Scoffing)That seems to be Megatron's favorite thing to do ever since we hit that paint store on accident.  
  
(Wavy screen) Flashback (more wavy screen)  
  
Megatron: In there is all the energy we could fathom! (Collected Cons sweatdrop)  
  
Bob: You guys gonna stand there or you gonna buy something.  
  
Megatron: Puny flesh thing, BBWWAAAA (Trips on paint can stand, getting covered with multiple colors of paints) Curse you human, you've outwitted me this time, DECEPTICONS RETREAT!  
  
Skywarp: Sir...you're not damaged  
  
Megatron: You're right, BBWWWAAAA (Shoots himself in the leg) Now, if you're happy Skywarp, DECEPTICONS RETREAT! (Megatron tries to get up, but can't) A little help?  
  
Bob: I could patch that up for ya.  
  
Megatron: HELP ME, THE FLESH CREATURE IS RUTHLESS!  
  
(wavy lines) End Flashback (more wavy)  
  
Soundwave: How did we end up getting the paint then?  
  
Skywarp: That guy sent us it all free for being such good customers...  
  
Soundwave: Wow, I believe that I shall walk in this direction now. (Walks away quickly)  
  
Astrotrain: Now about the pink (tapping foot)  
  
Skywarp: Aaawww relax, no one will notice.  
  
Astrotrain: You had better be right.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Zoom to the Autobot base. Our dynamic duo is in the ventilation shaft, watching a rather interesting incident with one Autobot leader. Prime had his back to the door, gun drawn. There were multiple blast marks in various areas. You could see Jazz trying to push the door open, as his hand kept peeking through.  
  
Jazz: Prime, open up, what's wrong with you man?  
  
Prime: (Optics darting everywhere, randomly aiming his gun) They're after me...they could come from anywhere...  
  
Jazz: Who?  
  
Prime: The vertically challenged men that ornate our lawns!  
  
Jazz: Say what!?  
  
Prime: THE LAWN GNOMES!!!!  
  
Jazz: Ok..I think its time for you to take a nice long recharge. (Motions for Wheeljack, Ironhide, and Prowl to come by the door, but be quiet)  
  
Prime: If I open the door...they'll get in!!  
  
Jazz: It's ok, we're all friends here (Starts to inch away as the others charge their weapons)  
  
Prime: I bet I know...you're in cahoots with them!!!!  
  
Jazz: No I'm no..NOW! (Jumps away as the door gets blasted, all four bots jumping Prime.)  
  
Prime: NNNOOOO, they got you all too, my loyal Autobots! (Starts shooting and punching, but only after giving Prowl a good beat down do they restrain him.) NNNOOOOO  
  
Wheeljack: Sorry Prime, but you're unfit to lead, Jazz will have to take over until you get over this.  
  
Prime: GGGAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (They hook him to the recharge bed before proping the door up and ignoring his pleas.)  
  
Rumble: Notice any disturbing similarities?  
  
Frenzy: Yup, but I also have a fiendish idea, come on, we need some supplies. (The two scuttle off as Prime keeps screaming.)  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Zoom onto a beach behind Decepticon HQ. We see Dirge and Thrust sitting at a commentary booth while the Combaticons and Stunticons engaged in a heavy volleyball game. Vortex hovers up and spikes the ball, hitting the dirt as Drag Strip and Breakdown jump to hit it, but its to no avail. Ramjet counts the point as Motormaster tackles him.  
  
Thrust: Ooohhh, yet another perfect play by the Combaticons.  
  
Dirge: Yeah, but I don't think they liked Ramjet's last call (Winces as his fellow seeker gets punched in the face by Motormaster)  
  
Motormaster: (Shaking Ramjet) How can you call that, Vortex cheated, he was FLYING, no one else can fly!!!  
  
Ramjet: (Groggily) Well..I was thinking about calling it but now that you've punched me! (Rub's head) Vortex can fly all he damn wants!  
  
Dirge: Ouch, tough officiating. Looks like the Combaticon's might pull this one off.  
  
Thrust: Yeah, but it looks like Scrapper has his boys ready to go.  
  
Pan over to the Constructicons, Scrapper with a whistle around his neck, the rest doing jumping jacks.  
  
Scrapper: Come on girls, no pain no gain!  
  
Hook: (Aside to Mixmaster) Is it just me, or is he nuts.  
  
Mixmaster: Oh yeah, he's nuts, but nothing compared to Megatron.  
  
Bonecrusher: True that.  
  
Wildrider: (Diving after another spike, misses and eats dirt) BASTARDS! (Vortex puts his thumb to his err.nose area and twiddles his fingers, Brawl and Swindle high-five)  
  
Dirge: And another beautiful spike for Vortex, looks like Motormaster has something to say about this.  
  
Motormaster: HE'S CHEATING, FREAKING CHEATING! (Throws hands in the air.)  
  
Onslaught: Bite me Motormaster.  
  
Dead End: Bite this! (Takes the ball and hits it right into Blast-off's head).  
  
Ramjet: ALRIGHT, break it up! (Both sides slowly put away their blasters and keep playing, Vortex spikes the ball again.)  
  
Motormaster: GAAAHHH!!! (Pulls out his gun and shoots Vortex)  
  
Thrust: That's gonna leave a mark.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Ratchet winced as he pulled yet another expired animal from the offline Perceptor's chest compartment. He hucks it behind him, where a large pile of animals sit. Brawn is trying to coax the Dinobots into eating them, but it wasn't going to well.  
  
Grimlock: Me Grimlock no like fleshy things!  
  
Sludge: Me Sludge agrees with Grimlock, fleshy things icky.  
  
Slag: We Dinobots should eat little bot.(Licks lips.)  
  
Brawn: Errr..That wouldn't be so good.(backs away.)  
  
Just then Swoop walks in, in robot mode, with a monocle, top hat, and cane.  
  
Swoop: (British accent) I do say old chaps, why would we be eating our dear friend Brawn, I say offer him some fish and chips.  
  
Dinobots: O_o  
  
Brawn takes this opportunity to run like a bat out of hell as Swoop wonders whats wrong.  
  
Swoop: I do say, did I miss tea time?  
  
Grimlock: Me Grimlock going to take a nap-nap now (Runs out of the room, followed by Slag and Sludge)  
  
Ratchet: Soooooooooo Swoop, why the new voice.and personality.  
  
Swoop: I don't know ole chap, all I know is one minute Wheeljack asked me to power down, then I woke up like this.  
  
Ratchet: Grrrrr...(Ultra Fred Flinstone) WWWWHHHEEEEEELLLLLJJJAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!  
  
Wheeljack: (From other room) WWWWHHHAAAAAA!!!  
  
Ratchet: (Still yelling) WHAT'D YA DO TO SWOOP!  
  
Wheeljack: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING (Sounds nervous)  
  
Ratchet: That's it! (Storms out, Swoop spots dead forest animals)  
  
Swoop: Well, I suppose this will do better than fish and chips (Down's a dead squirrel, then picks up a familiar rabbit) Hmmm..*Munch Munch* This one looks like it's skin was pulled back eh wot?  
  
Perceptor: (Groggy) What happened..where am I (Looks over, sees rabbit ears sticking out of Swoop's mouth) POOKIE!  
  
Swoop: Hmm? *gulp* What?  
  
Perceptor: My dear Pookie! You killed her! GAH! (Leaps at Swoop, the two begin to scuffle as a ventilation shaft opens)  
  
Rumble: Why do we always come in at bad times?  
  
Frenzy: I have no clue..ah! I see the stuff we need, let's grab it quick.  
  
Rumble: Wow..I don't know if we're gonna die of laughter or Prime's laser after this one, heh. (Picks up paint and pointy hat)  
  
Frenzy: He's tied down remember, *Evil Laugh*. (Tosses Rumble a pair of Spike's overalls) Oh we're gonna look damn good, hah!  
  
Rumble: I must say, this is genius (Grabs fake beard) HAH, I think that's it, lets move (The both exit into vents as Swoop pins down Perceptor)  
  
Swoop: I do say ole chum, you've got quite the fight in you, eh wot?  
  
Perceptor: (Sobbing) Pookie..  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Starscream, bright yellow, landed in the clearing where he last detected Thundercracker. He gazed about before finding him with Runamuck, Runabout, and Blitzwing sitting there hunched over, beeping noises sounding.  
  
Runamuck: Go Plusle! Use helping hand on Runabout's Minum!  
  
Blitzwing: Stupid team Pokemon, smash the little bugger Rhyhorn! Earthquake!  
  
Thundercracker: What are you doing! Earthquake hits everything, even my Raichu!  
  
Blitzwing: Opps..  
  
Earthquake misses both Minum and Plusle, but knock's out Raichu.  
  
BW & TC: HUH!  
  
Runabout: Luckily, we both put Lax Insence on our Pokemon (Runamuck and Runabout high five as the Minum and Plusle proceed to gang rape Rhyhorn.)  
  
Thundercracker: DAMNIT!  
  
Starscream: What the hell are you all doing!  
  
All: Playing Pokemon Sapphire and/or Ruby!  
  
Starscream: I came all the way out here for this...  
  
Runamuck: Here give it a try.  
  
Starscream: Well.it's either that or back to base (Quickly grabs Gameboy)  
  
~4 Hours later~  
  
Starscream: GGOOOOO PIKACHU!  
  
Runabout: Heh.least it matches the yellow.  
  
Starscream: (Raises an optic) What was that?  
  
Runabout: Nothing!  
  
Starscream: Thought so.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
We find out dynamic duo inside the ventilation systems, like usual, but dressed up. What did they look like you ask, just listen to Prime's hysteric screams.  
  
Prime: I CAN HEAR THE LAWN GNOMES...they're...they're..(Optics narrow)..in the ventilation system..  
  
Frenzy: (Covering mouth, fake beard, overalls, and pointy hat on) This is gonna be great, lets to it!  
  
Rumble: Right! (Looks just like Frenzy, except different colored outfit. The two jump out as Prime lets out the girliest scream imaginable)  
  
Prime: AAAIIIIIIYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
  
Frenzy: WE ARE THE LAWN GNOMES! (Scary pose.)  
  
Rumble: (French accent) We have come for you women and your wine!  
  
Frenzy: O_o (Kicks Rumble in the groin, he goes down for the usual 5 minutes)  
  
Rumble: Ooowww..  
  
Prime: What do you cretians want with me..wait.(optics narrow again).I know what you want.....AND YOU'LL EVER GET IT!  
  
Frenzy: Uhhh...Give it to us now! Or face the wrath of..  
  
Rumble: (Scary pose) The Lawn Gnomes!  
  
Prime: NNOOOO, I'll never give in, I don't care how much you torture me!  
  
Frenzy: (Shrugs at Rumble) Well.errr..I'll use my.ummm..Gnome..LEAF on you!  
  
Rumble puts his face in his hand, but then looks up when Prime starts to cry like a girl.  
  
Prime: (Sobbing loudly) No, I've heard the horror stories of that, go take my most precious possession, just don't do that!  
  
Rumble: Errr..whats that?  
  
Prime: (Wails loudly before continuing) In the box, under the desk!  
  
Frenzy grabs it and opens it to find...a G1 Bluestreak toy.  
  
Frenzy: Wha.?  
  
Prime: He's so dreamy....and now you're gonna take him away!! (Sobs more)  
  
Rumble: This is too freaky for me, let's jet!  
  
Frenzy: Agreed! (Both make like Starscream who just got proved wrong and scram).  
  
Prime: Wha..Where'd the Lawn Gnomes go?  
  
Jazz: Prime! (Calls from other side of door) You ready to admit theres no Lawn Gnomes?  
  
Prime: (In awe) They..left.  
  
Jazz: Whew, glad to have you back! (Comes in, frees Prime, then leaves)  
  
Prime: (Picks up the Bluestreak toy) Hmmm..  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
The insanity continues..Tell me what you think!  
  
Next time the exciting conclusion of the volleyball tourney and more Pokemon!  
  
Read and Review! 


End file.
